I remember telling myself when I was younger “When I get older, I hope I don’t become the kind of person who enjoys this thing that I currently don’t like.” Some examples of what I mean by this, throughout the years, are:
- When I was a kid, I thought Pokémon and anime were things that only super nerds were interested in. I didn’t want to be a super nerd – a regular nerd was as far as I was willing to go in order to sow reasonable doubt that I was still “cool.”
- When I was a teenager, I thought that spending hours cooking, or drawing, or just making anything was a waste of time, because I could otherwise be spending that time doing things that I enjoyed at the time, like playing video games.
- Also as a teenager, I thought cardio exercise was lame because it was boring, took a long time, hurt my lungs, and drained the energy that I could otherwise use for strength training.
Not only did I think that these things were cringe, but I thought that the people who found joy in these things were cringe. This made me unreceptive to trying new things out of fear of how others may perceive me, and it also made me have contempt for anyone who actively participated in these activities.
This is a miserable way to live! It creates an incurious person whose hatred for the world only reinforces his reclusive impulses. The instinct probably stems from the psychological behavior of edgy teenagers who are desperate to be a part of in-groups while constantly creating their own out-groups that only exist in their head.
I’ve seen several videos on YouTube where teenagers apply to MIT with a “makers portfolio” video, showcasing all of the things that they’ve worked on and created in their spare time. There is so much energy and happiness in these young people. What was stopping me from doing something like that at their age? I believe that one of the (many) reasons I did not end up like this was that I was stuck in this negative mindset for much of my young adult life. I lived in fear of how others may perceive me, which sapped me of the initiative of being curious and trying new things.
Some advice I would give about this topic: Don’t cringe at what others enjoy. Instead, be curious about it and see if you too can find out why these things bring other people so much joy. Obsessing over how others will react to you is not a life worth living. You should instead find as many ways as you can to insert joy into your life.
This advice applies not only to young people who are entrenched in the edgy teen mindset, but also older people who are struggling to find meaning and happiness in their everyday lives.
The person who is able to find enjoyment in all the nooks and crannies of life is a person that I want to be around. It is also the kind of person that I aspire to be.